There’s a football game tonight!
Isn’t that great? Football!
Last week we had Panthers at Broncos, so this week is probably just as exciting!
Let’s check the ol’ matchup…the Jets and the Bills. Oh. Okay.
Isn’t that great. Football.
Here’s a metaphor for just about anything
Apparently no one thought to route this marathon in a fashion that avoided train crossings. Because in the middle of the thing, a freight engine roared past at about 5 MPH, which probably annoyed the heck out of the serious runners here. (Normally such an easygoing bunch, runners.) This is obviously hilarious, as it’s a fantastic representation of how the daily grind can be slowed down by obstacles far beyond our control, especially if we don’t plan adequately for them.
It’s also a fun representation of the NL Wild Card race.
Allow me to ease off runners, though, and take on a more annoying crowd, who probably would have lost their minds in this situation: cyclists. Not only do they have no qualms about blowing past you by inches on the sidewalk (sure, screaming “On your left!” 0.3 seconds before arrival constitutes enough warning, why not) but in a competitive environment, even a low-level charity race, they’re the worst. I once volunteered (well, my boss at work organized it and asked me to do it, so I didn’t have a choice, but he did pay me, so really it wasn’t volunteering by any definition) and I was asked to man the sign-in table.
My goodness, it was like manning the snack table at an elementary school carnival. They didn’t understand or respect the concept of a line. Or of orderly conduct in any way. Many were rude, beyond belief. I was in control of their race chips, though, and I took advantage of my position of faux-power (faux to me, as I didn’t care at all about the race) and laid down the law left and right. I surprised myself with how quickly I grew comfortable yelling at strangers, but it had to be done.
Anyway, like three of them were taken away by ambulance after wrecks on a flat course, and I left to have lasagna with my girlfriend before the final race, so I had a better day overall.
So, the point of all this is don’t let the slow-moving trains in your life stop you from trying, or something. But really it’s that super-pushy self-important people are the worst.
And lasagna is good.
Quick hits
-Donald Trump claimed he could have played on the PGA Tour. This is relentlessly hilarious. Rick Reilly is mockable now, and indeed has probably always been mockable, but I’m surprised his Trump chapter from his book on caddying for famous people (titled, sigh, Who’s Your Caddy?) hasn’t gotten a bit more play in election season. Reilly noted that Trump cheated left and right, and no one who played with him regularly was willing to call him on it.
Hmm, nope, actually, nothing we can draw from that.
Anyway, no, of course Donald Trump couldn’t play on the PGA Tour. Reilly mentions that he wasn’t that bad a player, but again, that’s like saying the sixth man on your high school basketball team could play in the NBA.
-A guy who is somehow in our House of Representatives (sorry for being political, there are morons on both sides, etc, but this is bad) says Colin Kaepernick’s kneel of protest during the anthem is sympathetic to ISIS. Sigh.
-Draymond Green thinks Kevin Durant should stop wearing his gold medal around. I’d wear mine 24/7, so I’m not sure where Draymond’s coming from.
-An awesome bat flip from the Korean league:
https://twitter.com/sung_minkim/status/776067304324870144
There’s nothing wrong with batflips, and I wish we had more of them. Nothing dumber than baseball players getting mad because someone “showed them up”. And I like baseball!
-Once, while working at a hardware store, a guy lost control of a palate of concrete mix while maneuvering it down from the rafters and had to bail out of the forklift before it fell on him. It left a massive pile of concrete dust. And as no one was hurt, and it was captured on camera, it was hilarious.
This is like that but on a much larger scale:
-Some Ravens players wore “elite” shirts to support Joe Flacco. Is this kind of played out now? I feel like it might be.
-Leander takes a fascinating look at what the return of Landon Donovan says about young American players. He makes interesting points, unsurprisingly. But I think what comes to mind is that the people who trust young American players least seem to be their own coaches, at least in MLS and on the national team. Christian Pulisic is starting Champions League matches for Dortmund and it’s no big deal, but Jurgen has to build him up and pick the perfect time to indoctrinate him slowly against Trinidad and Tobago? He wasn’t ready to help the team in the Copa America?
Coaching and development in this country have a long, long way to go. Of course, the guy in charge of all of that is also Jurgen Klinsmann, so…
-The 2017 MLB schedule is already out, which is pretty weird, actually. Why so early? I guess teams (and other people involved with the sport, like local broadcasting crews, etc) have to start making travel arrangements?
-Mike Leach thinks police are targeting WSU players unfairly.
-I enjoyed this string of tweets about Jon Bois (possibly/probably apocryphally) shopping for mechanical pencils way too much:
-The White Sox set a record for the most very, very good dogs to attend a sporting event. (Emphasis mine.)
-And the LA Rams are now valued at $2.9 billion, so hooray, someone with a ton of money now has even more money, in theory. Also, who would have guessed that an LA team would be worth more than a St. Louis team?
What’s that about the fans? Sorry, we can’t hear you over the sound of money being thrown around, like one of those game show booths.
A fake news headline I wish was real
Cardinals Execs Really Hoping Commisioner Has Forgotten About That Whole “Felony Corporate Espionage” Thing
One last glorious moment of procrastination
I’m 99% sure this hawk can see through the screen and into my mind.