If you were about to start worshiping a giant flying spaghetti monster or already worship a giant flying spaghetti monster and are looking forward to certain rights that come with your beliefs, one United States Federal Court has a word for you — DENIED.
On Tuesday, a federal judge in Nebraska ruled that the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is indeed not a real religion. You know, just in case that was really ever a question. In the ruling, judge John M. Gerrard noted that the creating of FSMism (the nickname for the “religion”) was more about mocking religious belief than actually any real deeply held belief:
The Court finds that FSMism is not a “religion” within the meaning of the relevant federal statutes and constitutional jurisprudence. It is, rather, a parody, intended to advance an argument about science, the evolution of life, and the place of religion in public education.
Gerrard goes on to quote large tracts of the Bible in his decision, but also notes that the creation of this “religion” came out of another controversial topic — the teaching of “intelligent design” alongside evolution in science classes.
Still, Gerrard notes there is more satirical value than religious belief in the creation of this “church.” He also saw no legal basis for the current plaintiff, an inmate in the Nebraska state penitentiary system, to be afforded the same religious rights as Buddhists, Christians, Hindus, Jews or Muslims in prison.
While Gerrard seems to find satirical value in FSMism, he balked at the argument of plaintiff Stephen Cavanaugh, currently a prisoner in the Nebraska State Penitentiary, that prison officials should “afford his ‘faith’ the same rights and privileges as religious groups, including ‘the ability to order and wear religious clothing and pendants, the right to meet for weekly worship services and classes and the right to receive communion.’”
Don’t fear, FSMism isn’t dead yet as three state (Massachusetts, Texas and Wisconsin) all currently allow followers to wear colanders on their head as “religious headdress.” Keep the spaghetti-flying hope alive!
[Mediaite]