The Olympics and the NHL. It’s not happening (probably). But that’s not all people want to discuss. There’s the playoffs. There’s Nikita Kucherov (a lot of that, actually). There’s the West. But mostly, it’s the Olympics. Let’s do all the Olympics questions first and get our anger and sadness out of the way early.
1. The Worst
https://twitter.com/Dougie_Ice_Back/status/848989787201585152
There is not.
2. Who Goes
@davelozo So who goes to play hockey at Olympics now that NHL players won’t go?
— Geoff Wright (@GeoffLWright) April 3, 2017
I mean this respectfully, but who fucking cares? If it ain’t the best players in the world, I’m not shifting my internal clock for three weeks to watch lesser players. I don’t care about the AHL or European leagues, so I’m not going to care who goes to South Korea if it’s not NHL players. I imagine this is the sentiment most will have. I hated getting up at 5 a.m. (or any time that ends with “a.m.” if we’re being honest) for a best-on-best tournament, so I’m not making an even more drastic change to watch some college kid battle a 43-year-old Slovak who left the NHL six years ago in a round-robin game.
3. You Mad?
https://twitter.com/amandaackovitz/status/848996595295244289
I won’t tell anyone what their emotional reaction to this should be. You can read mine above. If your favorite hockey in the world is the Olympics, this sucks some serious unwashed balls. But if you love your team more than anything and you’ve got like six Olympians, maybe you don’t want to see them all log an extra six games during an already lengthy season. Maybe you were never going to watch because of the time difference.
But if you’ve loved NHL players going to the Olympics for the past two decades, this is a real downer. Fans and players are rarely lockstep in what they want, but this is the rare situation where the league is screwing both.
4. But Wait
https://twitter.com/Dougie_Ice_Back/status/848989787201585152
I do admire the NHL’s willingness to uniformly not give a shit what fans want. You don’t find that in any entertainment industry. You don’t see a movie studio making six more Jupiter Ascendings. That’s what made the NHL flipping its stance on releasing the expansion draft protected lists so wild. They never do that. They will lock out fans every six years without any sense of guilt. They decided 20 years ago that fans will always come crawling back no matter how badly they are treated and they’ve stuck with this method despite two decades of minimal growth. You have to admire that sort of stubbornness.
5. Lightning Up, Up, Up
https://twitter.com/hatedkid666/status/848935000288501760
Remember when Twitter was all “light a mup” jokes with very few news items that brought you feelings of despair? Those were the days.
I write the mailbag on Monday nights then leave it as is for Tuesday posting, so as of right now, the Ottawa Senators look really vulnerable. They have three more points and a game in hand on Tampa, but the Senators’ remaining schedule and injuries are the stuff of nightmares. They are without Zack Smith, Cody Ceci and Marc Methot for the rest of the season and the same could be said about Erik Karlsson, although he’s just day-to-day.
The problem is a brutal stretch of five games in seven days to end the season. Two are against the dunzo Red Wings and one against the John Tavares-less Islanders, but it’s such a workload to handle this late in the season. They really need to beat the Red Wings Tuesday night, because if it becomes a three-point gap with each team having four games remaining, it’s likely that the Lightning would own the tiebreaker if they both finish with the same amount of points.
If Tampa gets three regulation/OT wins in their final four games, I think that will be enough. If they don’t beat Boston on Tuesday, the Lightning better hope the Senators (or Leafs) implode.
6. Deep Dish
https://twitter.com/hatedkid666/status/848932934300172288
Oh god, yeah. Chicago is, for sure, the best team in the West. But the gap isn’t huge. I’d say everybody except St. Louis can take them in a series. Chicago will probably be my pick to come out of the West simply by default, but this is a good year for some weird team to come out of the West. But that’s only because they are all weird.
7. Cheaters Never Win
your spouse is cheating on you! Is it with A)Jagr B)Sid C)PK D)Steve Ott #pucksoup
— hank (@HankN07) April 3, 2017
I could live with it being anybody but Steve Ott. Heck, I’d ask to join in if it’s Jagr.
8. Underdog
https://twitter.com/mazman11/status/848945543233634304
I like Boston’s chances of being this team. It really depends where they wind up in the Atlantic. They’ve got the goaltender to steal games and enough offense to be dangerous. If they draw Ottawa in round one, the Bruins can go deep. If it’s Toronto, it’ll be more difficult but a matchup against the Leafs, even if they’ve dominated the series this year, could bode well. And if it’s Washington, there’s always potential for a pants-crapping from the Caps. A pants-Capping, if you will.
This doesn’t answer your question, but I don’t know how to answer it.
9. This Is 30
better chance of maintaining 30+ goals per season for 5+ straight years–Kucherov, Pastrnak, or Rakell?
— Ron Bon Jovi (@mds_grigr) April 3, 2017
Yo, my man — why are you listing Kucherov, who has 97 goals the past three seasons, in this question? This just confirms that he’s the best player in the league either no one knows or no one understands how good he is.
Leaving him out, as he’s going to be a Hart Trophy finalist (I think), I’ll take Pastrnak over Rakell. Let’s check back in five years and see if I was right.
10. More Of This
Is Nikita Kucherov on his way to becoming an NHL superstar?
— keith (@keithboerker) April 3, 2017
See? Dude’s been a beast for three seasons. His stock is as high as it has ever been, even if Steve Yzerman didn’t want to pay him full value.
11. Hats On
How do you feel about sports hats?
— James Tomlinson (@IceBirdsOfPitt) April 3, 2017
As a pale, bald man (picture Stephen Merchant in Logan), there are like two months out of the year in the Northeast when I can go hatless. It’s either too cold or the direct sunlight is murdering my sensitive scalp. I need 70-degree overcast days to feel comfortable. So I’m always going to be pro-hat.
Just remember that you’re wearing one. A couple weeks ago, a guy started talking to me about Brandon Marshall. “Great signing, huh?” “Yeah, cheap deal, good in the red zone.” “And that tight end.” “Yeah, he’s supposedly a good blocker.” “I’m excited. You want your receipt?”
I walked a block from that 7-Eleven before realizing I was wearing a New York Giants hat, and that’s why he engaged me in conversation about the Giants’ free agent signings. This is more a cautionary tale about being an idiot than hats.