Aaron Rodgers joining the Pittsburgh Steelers will be many things, but it certainly won’t be boring. The two teams that know Rodgers the best, the Green Bay Packers and the New York Jets, ditched the Rodgers Experience. And now, Pittsburgh looks like the embodiment of the “but it might work for us” meme.
Let’s predict the best-case and worst-case scenarios for Rodgers and the Steelers:
Best-case scenario
Rodgers is healthier and more mobile two years after surgery for a torn Achilles tendon. He looks something closer to the 2021 MVP than the starting quarterback with the worst EPA per play in 2024. Rodgers spends more time studying film than YouTube conspiracy rabbit holes. He’s so immersed in football that he doesn’t have time to return Robert F. Kennedy Jr. calls, has cut back on his Pat McAfee Show appearances, and has traded in ayahuasca for Uncrustables.
Rodgers’ rejuvenation leads DK Metcalf to a career season in an offense that not even Arthur Smith can screw up. The Steelers open the season by crushing Rodgers’ former team, the Jets, and rolling to a surprising 5-0 start. After a close loss at Cincinnati, Pittsburgh beats the Packers on Sunday Night Football. Rodgers shocks everyone with a QB keeper for the game-winning TD and brings back his championship belt celebration. Pittsburgh reaches the AFC Championship, losing to the (Chiefs/Ravens/Bills). Rodgers announces that he plans on returning for the 2026 season.
Worst-case scenario
Rodgers plays like a 41-year-old quarterback and blames everyone else for his failures. The Steelers open the season with a humiliating loss to the Jets and Justin Fields, who throws for two touchdowns and runs for two scores. After Pittsburgh begins 1-3, Rodgers suggests during the bye week on the Pat McAfee Show that vaccines are the reason the Steelers look so unathletic and urges Robert F. Kennedy Jr. to investigate. He also says the referees are part of the Illuminati.
When the Steelers lose to the Packers to drop to 2-5, he returns to his darkness retreat despite being fined by the Steelers for missing two days of practice. Mason Rudolph starts one game for the suspended Rodgers but is benched by halftime because, well, he’s Mason Rudolph.
Rodgers is reinstated for the second half and leads a comeback victory over Indianapolis. Rudolph is released and immediately goes to work for the presidential administration. An unhinged Rodgers spews more bizarre theories before the Steelers are crushed in the first round of the playoffs by the Ravens again. Mike Tomlin decides he is too old for this sh** and resigns to take a job on TV. Rodgers retires and becomes best buds with Bryan Johnson, the dude from the Netflix documentary Don’t Die: The Man Who Wants to Live Forever.
