LOS ANGELES, CA – JANUARY 13: Kobe Bryant #24 of the Los Angeles Lakers reacts as he runs off the court after missing his three point attempt to tie the score as time ran out in the game against the Miami Heat at Staples Center on January 13, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. The Heat won 78-75. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)

In the least shocking news of the day, Kobe Bryant apparently cares more about winning NBA championships than having friends.

Kobe is trademarking the phrase “Friends hang sometimes, banners hang forever,” which is a bit twisted but totally on-brand for the ever-competitive soon-to-be retiree.

https://twitter.com/imbeccable/status/688049858742194177

In recent months, Kobe has gone on a trade-marking spree. Via ESPN:

In October, Kobe Inc. trademarked its name with the U.S. Patent & Trademark Office. Late last month, the business filed to trademark “HeroVillain” and a “HV” logo, which stands for hero/villain as well as a “KB20” mark, symbolizing Bryant’s 20 years in the NBA with the Los Angeles Lakers.

It’s unclear what Kobe plans to do with “Friends hang sometimes, banners hang forever,” because it’s a little hard to imagine anyone walking around wearing a T-shirt that basically says friendship is overrated. Most healthy people agree that friendship is pretty important, right? Are there a substantial number of people who believe in consuming themselves with work to the point of sacrificing human interaction? Is this too literal a reading of the phrase.

Of course, Kobe is renowned for his competitiveness and tunnel vision, so maybe he wouldn’t be where he is today without embracing this semi-disturbing mindset.

It’s easy to imagine Kobe, grinding out a sweaty practice in November 2005 while Smush Parker jokes around on the sideline, barking, “Friends hang sometimes, banners hang forever, motherf—–.”

We’ll miss you Kobe.

[The Big Lead]

About Alex Putterman

Alex is a writer and editor for The Comeback and Awful Announcing. He has written for The Atlantic, VICE Sports, MLB.com, SI.com and more. He is a proud alum of Northwestern University and The Daily Northwestern. You can find him on Twitter @AlexPutterman.